preoccupaciones del futuro / worries of the future

The past few nights I have cried myself to sleep. Crying for all the unknown things that lie ahead in my life. Most of my concerns have to do with the feelings of control lost over the past few months. These feelings come and go as things change, which is constant of course, the changes. Many of you know, many don't. In a very short time I will share all with the World. I guess more than anything I seem to swell with this overwhelming fear while I lay in bed each night thinking and worrying about many of the possible twists and turns my life may take in the upcoming months and years. I worry, I panic, I cry and eventually I fall asleep. I know this all sounds rather depressing and dramatic, and trust me it does feel that way for a few minutes each day but I finally reazlied while i was driving the other day that I have to put a stop to most of these feelings...afterall, hasn't everything worked out positively up to now????? Hasn't every piece of my life, especially the unexpected ones, worked out so well that I've had some absolutely incredible experiences and accomplished a lot? The bottom line is that very few things in life work out as they are planned, hell, most things just come out of nowhere and smack you upside the head, and this has all worked out well. Even the things that hurt me most eventually passed. All this led me over the years to firmly believe that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, and that everything will basically happen as it is supposed to if you welcome and work with the pieces you come across (what they call "omens" in the book the "Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho). SOOOOO why should I fear the future? I'm not saying that everything will be perfect, struggle or pain free, but I can't force the future, I can merely follow and take part in the present. I'm not saying that I'm not going to plan or work FOR the future because that is the smartest thing to do, but the most realistic things is to be flexible with the future, so that you don't get crushed by all those unexpected things that come your way. So, I'm not saying that I won't cry again, afterall I still am lonely, but I'm not going to panic about all the thousands of things that COULD happen in the future, because I know that everything can change in a second and just because some doors close doesn't mean that all of them do, or that new ones won't open. This comforts me. I only hope that it helps comfort the people outside of myself who are affected by my decisions.