Along for the ride

Alissa Dewaele
April 7, 2005
Journal: God is a Verb
Ok, it’s official now, my brain is preparing for shut down. I am at that point that most of us seniors reach where our will to go on is weakened, our ability to focus on our studies is almost non-existent, our worries about graduating have subsided only to be replaced by a strong need to just get the hell out, and our brains…our brains are thoroughly overwhelmed with so many competing thoughts, obligations, desires and fears... For many of us there are so many things that we are still unsure of when it comes to our post-graduate lives, you could say that we are treading the sometimes unstable waters of ambiguity.
When we were watching the short video the other day, the man said ever so calmly to “settle in to the ambiguity”. I am rather certain that at any other point in my life I might have said “WHAT! That makes absolutely NO sense! How can you just settle into the ambiguity? I need answers, I want clear paths…” But, that day, it really made sense to me, it seemed so obvious. Have you ever heard the phrase “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em”? Now, I’m not very sure where this quote ranks on a lot of peoples lists, seeing as there are some inherent problems with this statement, but I’m tired of fighting to get to solid ground, if I continue in this manner for too long I will inevitably lose all strength and be consumed by the water. So, why not set myself up comfortably, relax in the sunshine (because in my waters there will always be sunshine), enjoy the new views, and float along until I see an appropriate place to get out? I’m not giving in, I’m not abandoning my quest for answers and paths, I’m simply not letting myself by burdened by things that are momentarily unclear to me, and waiting till I see a good place to get out.