Well, the doctor's believe that we are going to have a healthy baby girl! We'll see if they made a mistake in about 4 months. We went and picked out a couple dresses and a sweater for her (since it will be cool in October).

life

I don't know why I am surprised that life is not taking shape the way I had been planned. I guess it's the fact that I had NOOOOOOOOOO idea until a week ago that something was wrong, and it is soooo wrong. I feel like i'm in the fight for my life, for the life that I planned for my child and I, but I don't even know if I should be fighting. I've been struggling so much that parts of my life have fallen to pieces and I let the emptiness take precedence over my child. I barely ate for days, i couldn't sleep, and all the stress landing me in the ER for the first time in years. I am actually sick and doing the one thing i SWORE i wouldn't while I was pregnant...I am taking medicine. I didn't want any type of outside chemicals in her little body while she's growing but I have been pushed to a point where it is now necessary. I am going to work on myself this weekend. Next week I start counseling to try and get some perspective. Anyways, no details, this one is going to stay personal until I am ready to talk about it. Right now i just need time to figure out what's going to happen.